We married three years ago and we have a baby.
My husband is a truck driver so he is on the road a lot. Lately, when I call him, it takes him a while to answer. Even sometimes, he doesn’t even answer the phone at all.
Specific Question: I am really worried and I want to know if my husband is cheating on me. Will our marriage last? -V.
Your marriage will “last,” but I am seeing a strained situation where the passion has quite died but it can be fixed. I am seeing that right now, your relationship with your husband is actually quite strained, and it started due to the lack of passion and time in his work. At first, your marriage started very fulfilling, and when he got the job as a truck driver, it was a positive hope for him that he thought he could provide for you and the family.
But turns out that after he started working as a truck driver, his positive hopes started to slide away, and he started to have torn decisions and crossroads on various decisions of his life. His job isn’t fulfilling for him, and a lot of the challenges for him also came from the various people at work.
Due to the lack of time between the two of you, as well as home life being more of a “responsibility” to return home to (instead of being like your honeymoon with just the love to enjoy and no “responsibilities”), he’s slowly started to lose passion in your relationship. It started to feel like a drag and there were also things he’s started to be dissatisfied in your marriage and what had become of it.
At work, there are multiple females also quite watching him, and he’s also started to develop some bit of feelings for them despite the awkward situation, and this also affected his work focus and made him do poorer work.
Some of the females also started to get involved with him, and being dissatisfied with your marriage and the lack of time together, he did kind of get involved with them, and he is at a dilemma about this. He feels freer developing feelings for them, and yet at the same time, he’s confused how to deal with the marriage situation with you and still trying to stay away from those women.
Then, at one point about 5-6 months ago, he’s had an unexpected love interest in his life that turns out to be someone whom he feels more connection with on a soul level.
I wouldn’t say he is cheating; he’s just developed some feelings for some other women, but I don’t see the intentions feel like cheating as he did not really get involved with them sexually, but more like co-workers who have attraction for each other, but they did not physically engage. But I would say if your situation and energies with him stays the same, over time he may not be able to handle the burden anymore and may need to “cheat” to “set his soul freer.”
The main energies I’m picking up from him is that he’s torn apart, and he feels like it’s an endless cycle back and forth between work and love life, and juggling his dissatisfaction and overwhelm in life. He’s also started to feel like he doesn’t want to have to “live responsibilities” and the child situation has become a burden for him.
I am also picking up that he doesn’t feel much free around you anymore, like he is expected to do this or that or to be a “family man,” when his soul wants something else. This and the stressful work situation, has slowly started to make him feel like he is going around in circles in life; both ends with challenges he is unsure of. It’s also like the marriage situation is making him lose his strength and desire for a happy life, and he’s quite regretted the decision of creating a family in the first place.
There is a message coming through in the reading that he feels like he is simply aiming for creating and supporting the family and improving finances, instead of living a fulfilling life. He has a lot of challenges at work that is also making him doubt his own self-confidence.
To make this situation healthier for him, it is important that if you can, try to be more lenient toward him and let him do what he wants at first. As your current energies, although understandable, is actually pushing him away from you. If you can put your energies more into how it is like in his shoes, and be more trusting of him. If you can, try to see if you can find ways to shift your energies into a more trusting place, and challenge your beliefs about the concept of “cheating” a bit. Try to see if you can help him realize it’s okay if he “cheats” and you won’t judge him, and see how that can slowly change his energies too. Because I am picking up a lack of freedom from “working for the family” and “being a family man,” as well as so much work troubles with some co-workers and situations. It can come across as a burden and nagging him, and he could feel more disconnected with you with the way the phone calls have been.
So see if you can try to be in his shoes more and give him more space; maybe even challenge yourself to see if you can release the cheating worries and see it from a new light, as I am seeing a message of a life journey thing here. You can actually help him break free of this cycle if you change your energies and challenge some of your beliefs—is “cheating” really that bad? Or is there a better way to see this? Perhaps a blessing in disguise? Perhaps a self-growth thing that can even make the two of you closer and reignite the spark in your marriage?
I am seeing if you can try this, this will help him feel better about you. He’s feeling like he has to “live by the rules” instead of being true to his feelings, so if you can, do what you can to see things from his shoes and be more lenient on him. It is a great time to develop your relationship with him into something deeper, if you can acknowledge his shoes and communicate with him in a different way. Do what you can to focus on yourself and being happy yourself first, and he will unconsciously sense the energy change and feel closer to you again.
What he needs right now is space from “responsibilities” and “reality” from your side of the home life, when work is already a challenging mess for him. So do what you can to challenge your beliefs about what is “right” or “wrong” in this case, and not expect things from him. See what the universe delivers if you can shift your energies into a more trusting place, and over time, you two can return to becoming more intimate if you “let him be” without judging him if he “cheats.” You could become the best wife he ever had if you can challenge those “Cheating is wrong” beliefs and reconsider other ways of thinking.
All of this is a part of your journey together, and you won’t have much to worry about if you take this advice seriously. Hope this helps.
~Kiyasu, www.kiyasugreen.com